The Warning Signs of Suicide.
If you or someone you know is experiencing any of these feelings get help by dialing 2-1-1
While there is no single predictor of suicide, there are some common warning signs to watch for. A suicidal person may:
Say they have no reason to live.
Be preoccupied with death and dying.
Withdraw from friends and/or social activities.
Have a recent, severe loss (especially a relationship), or threat of a significant loss.
Experience drastic changes in behavior.
Lose interest in hobbies, work, school, etc.
Prepare for death by making out a will (unexpectedly) and final arrangements.
Give away prized possessions.
Have attempted suicide before.
Take unnecessary risks; be reckless and/or impulsive.
Lose interest in their personal appearance.
Increase their use of alcohol or drugs.
Express a sense of hopelessness.
Be faced with a situation of humiliation or failure.
Have a history of violence or hostility.
Have been unwilling to "connect" with potential helpers.
Nearly everyone at some time in his or her life thinks about suicide. Most people decide to live because they come to realize that the crisis is temporary, but death is not. On the other hand, people in the midst of a crisis often perceive their dilemma as inescapable and feel an untter loss of control. Frequently, they:
Can't stop the pain
Can't think clearly
Can't make decisions
Can't see any way out
Can't sleep, eat, or work
Can't get out of the depression
Can't make the sadness go away
Can't see the possibility of change
Can't see themselves as worthwhile
Can't get someone's attention
Can't seem to get control
What You Can Do If You Think Someone May Be Suicidal?
Remember that there is no typical suicidal person. Anyone can be thinking of killing themselves. Review some of the common warning signs that you can look for.
Be Direct
Talk openly and matter-of-factly about suicide. Ask the person, "Are you thinking of killing yourself?" Don't lessen the reality of the situation by using phrases like "ending it all" or "going to sleep." Gently hold up for the person what kind of decision they are really making.
Listen to the Person in Crisis
Allow expressions of feelings, including feelings about wanting to die. Accept the feelings, even if they scare you. Let the person cry or scream if needed in order to get their feelings out.
Validate
Don't say things like "It's not so bad" or "Things will get better soon." That invalidates the overwhelming feelings that the suicidal person is having and can cause them to feel very alone. Instead, try to say things like, "You feel so terrible right now that you can't see any way out other than killing yourself." That lets the suicidal person know that you can hear how desperate they feel. Don't be judgmental. Don't debate whether suicide is right or wrong, or feelings are good or bad. Don't lecture on the value of life. Don't talk about suicide in judgmental terms, such as "doing something dumb."
Get Involved
Become available. Show interest and support. Let the suicidal person know that you care about them.
Don't Underestimate a Threat of Suicide
It's natural to want to believe that a friend or loved one isn't at risk, but the fact is that people who threaten to commit suicide often do commit suicide. By the time friends and family become aware of the suicidal thoughts, the risk of suicide is often very high. Take the person seriously. Never dare the person to do it or tell the person that you don't think that they would be able to do it. Do not deny or minimize the idea that the person is serious.
Try not to Act Shocked
This will put distance between you and the suicidal person, and they may feel like you can't understand. Show them that you want to understand and that you are not going to turn away or reject how they feel.
Build a Support Network
Get support for yourself so that you will be able to support the suicidal person. Don't agree that you will keep their thoughts of suicide secret. Let them know that you will be there to love and support them, and that you will need to get more support for both of you. Don't try to handle a suicidal person by yourself. Bring in other friends or family or call a crisis hotline for support.
Determine the Method
Try to find out how the person plans to kill himself or herself. Do they have a specific plan, with the time, day and/or method picked out? The more specific the plan, the greater the risk. Some methods of suicide tend to be more lethal than others. For example, if a suicidal person plans to use a firearm, that represents a very high level of risk. However, almost all methods carry serious risk. Remember that some over-the-counter medications, such as acetaminophen (Tylenol), can be life-threatening, even in relatively small doses.
Remove the Method
Remove the method, such as the gun, pills, or knife. Call law enforcement if there is immediate danger involved to yourself or to the person in crisis. For instance, you should not try to get a gun out of the hands of a suicidal person. You could end up harming both yourself and the other person. Law enforcement officers are trained to handle dangerous situations, and you should let them intervene.
Get Help from Experts
Call your local suicide or crisis hotline (e.g., Dial 2-1-1 or 1-800-SUICIDE). Get in touch with a therapist or counselor who has experience working with suicidal clients. Most states have laws allowing for short-term, involuntary evaluation and hospitalization for people who demonstrate suicidal intent. In Florida, this law is called the "Baker Act." Suicide hotlines are often able to provide you with information and talk with you about what your options are.
Suicide Myths
Myth: People who talk about suicide do not commit suicide.
Fact: Most people who commit suicide have talked about or given definite warning signs of their suicidal intentions.
Myth: Suicide happens without warning.
Fact: There are almost always warning signs, but others are often unaware of the significance of the warnings or unsure about what to do.
Myth: Suicidal people are fully intent on dying. Nothing others do or say can help.
Fact: Suicide is preventable. Most suicidal people desperately want to live; they are just unable to see alternatives to their problems.
Myth: Once someone is suicidal, they are suicidal forever.
Fact: Most suicidal people are suicidal for only limited periods of time. However, someone who has made an attempt is at increased risk for future attempts.
Myth: Improvement after a suicidal crisis means that the risk of suicide is over.
Fact: Many suicides occur several months after the beginning of improvement, when a person has energy to act on suicidal thoughts.
Myth: Suicide strikes most often among the rich, or conversely, among the poor.
Fact: Suicide cuts across social and economic boundaries.
Suicide Q&A
Why do people kill themselves?
Unfortunately, there is no simple answer to this question. People die by suicide for a number of reasons. However, the majority of the people who take their lives (estimated at 90%) were suffering with an underlying mental illness and substance abuse problem at the time of their death. They weren't sick, but their brains were. Too often we think that a person is their brain, that’s where their personality or character resides. This is not true. The brain is an organ just like the liver, the kidneys, the gall bladder, etc. When it gets sick too often the appearance of the problem is in the form of a mental illness, as in the case of depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders, or schizophrenia. If the brain is sick too long, it can lead a person to taking their lives. This isn't always the case, as millions of people live with depression and never attempt or die by suicide, but with awareness, education, and treatment, people can be helped so that suicide does not become an option.
Do people attempt suicide to prove something or to get sympathy?
No. A suicide attempt is a cry for help that should never be ignored. It is a warning that something is terribly wrong. Chronic depression can lead to feelings of despair and hopelessness, and a suicide attempt is one way some people choose to express these feelings. Most people who attempt or commit suicide don't really want to die - they just want their pain and suffering to end. A suicide attempt is also not done to gain someone's sympathy, as those that attempt to take their life do it for internal reasons-they simply can't stand the pain they feel emotionally and/or physically. It isn’t to try and get someone to feel bad for them, that's the last thing they would want.
A suicide attempt must always be taken seriously. Without intervention and proper treatment, a person who has attempted suicide is at greater risk of another attempt and possible suicide.
Can a suicidal person mask their depression?
Sure, they can and sometimes do. But we can all be more aware of the signs and symptoms of depression to help those we care about get the necessary treatment to relieve them of their pain. Plus, because many people who are depressed can not see their symptoms, we have to be their eyes and ears for them to help SAVE their life. Many people suffering from depression and even contemplating suicide hide their feelings and appear to be happy just prior to their suicide attempt. This often confuses the people around them since for so long they had been suffering and appearing depressed, then all of a sudden seem better. However, most of the time a person who is suicidal will give clues as to how desperate they feel. It is critical that you familiarize yourself with the symptoms of depression and the warning signs of suicide, and not be afraid to ask direct questions about feelings of the person you're concerned about-it could be what save's their life!
Is a person at increased risk to attempt suicide if they’ve been exposed to it in their family or has had a close friend who died by suicide?
Yes, suicide does tend to run in families, but this is generally attributed to the genetic component of depression and related depressive illnesses. A healthy person talking about a suicide or being aware of a suicide among family or friends does not put them at greater risk for attempting suicide. And mere exposure to suicide does not alone put someone at greater risk for suicide. However, when combined with a number of other risk factors, it could increase someone’s likelihood of an attempt. Failing to treat or mistreating depressive illness puts a person at increased risk of suicide. It is very important to remember that the vast majority of people living with depression do not have suicidal thoughts or die by suicide.
Why don't people talk about mental illnesses like depression, bipolar disorder, and suicide?
Stigma and lack of understanding are the main reasons depression remains a topic we avoid. People suffering from depression fear others will think they’re crazy or weak, or somehow a lesser person. Cultural norms are slowly changing, and people are becoming more aware of the nature of depressive illnesses and their impact on a person’s well being. Education will help reduce stigma and save lives.
Alcoholism, drug addiction, HIV and AIDS are examples of medical conditions previously attributed to a weakness or character problems. Today, they are widely recognized as medical diseases and people feel comfortable openly discussing the impact of the disease and seeking help through a variety of treatments. The dangers of alcohol and substance abuse have been the subject of major national public health campaigns in the United States, leading to a general public more aware of the value of prevention. Breast cancer is another medical illness that for many years went unspoken, but today receives millions of dollars in research funding, supportive programming and awareness. Issues of medical illnesses in the brain which we call mental illnesses still face huge obstacles to funding, support and awareness, but progress is being made.
Why do people attempt suicide when they appear to feel better?
Sometimes a severely depressed person contemplating suicide doesn't have enough energy to attempt it. As the disease lifts they may regain some energy but feelings of hopelessness remain, and the increased energy levels contribute to acting on suicidal feelings. Another theory proposes that a person may "give in" to the disease because they can't fight it anymore. This relieves some anxiety, which makes them appear calmer in the period preceding a suicide attempt.
If a person's mind is made up, can they still be stopped?
Absolutely! Never give up on someone contemplating suicide. For a person determined to attempt suicide the desire to live is overshadowed by the seeming hopelessness of the disease. The decision to attempt suicide is really a desire to stop suffering. Never give up on someone just because they say they’ve made up their mind. Depression is a crisis and intervening to help the person regain perspective and aggressively fight the disease can help reverse the downward trend toward suicidal thoughts or attempts.
Why do depressive illnesses sometimes lead to suicidal thoughts?
As depression deepens and takes over the body and mind, the pain of depression often becomes overwhelming. The chemical imbalance and deep despair can lead the brain to try and find ways to end the pain. This is when suicidal thinking begins. Depressive illnesses can distort thinking such that a person can’t think clearly or rationally. The illness can cause thoughts of hopelessness and helplessness, which may lead to suicidal thoughts. Education about the symptoms of depression and the warning signs of suicide help people understand that depression and related depressive illnesses are both preventable and treatable.
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